Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Day Ten...Biggest Tool in the Shed

Today we had a special guest speaker come to our school to talk about the importance of working hard, setting goals, and staying in school...all the usual motivational stuff. He's a football player at a local university (hint: I live in Seattle) and I'm guessing this was his first time speaking to a large group of small children...and I'm hoping it's his last.

In addition to saying "you guys," and "awesome" about a hundred times during his 20 minute "presentation," he also had a few words of wisdom for the kids...

(these are not direct quotes, but you'll get the idea)
  • You know how when you workout you want to get big muscles? Well maybe not the girls, but they want to look good. (Ya, 'cause the only reason women workout is to look good.)

  • You know how when you play sports you've got to be mean? (Oh, is he going to talk about sportsmanship? Nope. He really is going to talk about being mean.)

  • You know when you're playing a game and you want to punch someone in the face? Or you want to call them butthead? Uh, you shouldn't do that. (Did he really just say "butthead" in front of almost 400 elementary students?!?)

In addition to these pearls of wisdom, the speaker also thought it would be a good idea to have the kids scream out THREE separate times...once to show how they cheer at a game, once to shout out what sports they like, and the third time to yell out what video game system they like to play. Video games? Oy vay.

When one kid asked "What did you study in school?," he danced around the question, mumbling a few sentences about studying and then moved onto the next question. Apparently in college he learned how to b.s., but unfortunately for us, he's not very good at it!

At the very end of the assembly, one of the teachers asked him what his plan was after college. His reply? Applying to med school. :)


  1. LOL! And people were worried about the President's speech?!?

  2. Hello Pigtailed Teacher, I guess things could have been worst he could have said he wanted to be an elementary school teacher.

  3. So frustrating when speakers are hired and they have no skills to present to young children. I always hate it when they are like hi, how are you? And then say, I CAN"T HEAR YOU! HOW ARE YOU?? and all the kids scream! The guy you talked about sounds like a real winner!


  4. Howdy Miss PT,
    I have one question... what are the qualifications needed, to be approved to speak to a group of VERY impressionable mini-humans, and who at your school would have the ultimate sign-off on these "speakers"
    I'm very interested in who the next inspiring guest speaker will be :)

  5. No way, I thought the UW football team was known for the eloquence, presentability, and good taste of its players!

    When I was a kid, we had one of the Seahawks players speak at a major church event (big enough that the floor of the Hec Ed was pretty full). Not long after, that player was in trouble for something dumb (smuggling hot dogs in his helmet?). What a brilliant role model :D

  6. next time they should have an elementary school student speak to the football team! great story.